::labyrinth of whims::

The only thing about Glee 3x14 that I actually want to talk about (other than Cough Syrup being a gorgeous cover, well done DC) is this:

Do American people actually eat peanut butter right out of the jar? Really?

god that's disgusting



Like, I actually thought that peanut butter and jam sandwiches weren't actually real things because why. why would you put that anywhere near your mouth. except then i remembered that i sometimes eat chips on my bread, or krupuk, and that when i was younger i used to put lemonade syrup or fruit sprinkles in my buttermilk and double-salted liquorice makes most non-dutch people barf, so.

All the new Glee spoilers are making me want to vomit :(

NO SERIOUSLY, GET KAROFSKY THE FUCK OFF OF MY SCREEN. HE CAN HAVE HIS BUTTERSCOTCH MANPAIN SOMEWHERE ELSE. PREFERABLY IN ANOTHER DIMENSION.


Also what the fuck are they planning with Sebastian I don't like this one bit.

Trying to decide if I actually want to watch the new Glee. Because, on the one hand, there's adorable Klaine, Brittana gets their kiss and there are lube jokes and a giant FUCK YOU to the network.

And on the other hand is Karofsky and I really, really cannot deal with him. Basically my icon right now is exactly how I react every time he's on screen.

ALL LGBT*QIA(llies) PEOPLE AND ALLIES WHO ARGUE THAT ASEXUALS – AND IN PARTICULAR AROMANTIC AND HETEROROMANTIC ASEXUALS – HAVE STRAIGHT PRIVILEGE, DON'T BELONG IN THE QUEER COMMUNITY AND DON'T HAVE PROBLEMS AS RELEVANT AS OURS

SHUT IT AND ALSO THIS IS NOT THE OPPRESSION OLYMPICS. YOU DO NOT GET A GOLD STAR AND A SMILY FACE FOR BEING MORE OPPRESSED.

The asexual awareness right now lies somewhere around society's knowledge of homosexuality circa '50-'60. No one talks about it. No one shows it. When mentioned, people react with disgust. When shown on television, it's always either a medical problem causing it or a lie (throwing judgmental looks in your direction, HOUSE) or it's sociopaths or giant nerds (why thank you for your enlightened portrayals, Sherlock and Big Bang Theory. Now go sit in the naughty corner for reinforcing stereotypes).

People tell us it doesn't exist. People tell us it's just a phase. People tell us we just need to try sex, then we'll get over these silly ideas. People tell us that we must be too ugly to get laid. People tell us to get raped, or to kill ourselves, or that we're mentally ill, or that we're not human. We're probably still in the DSM.

Don't you dare tell me that invisibility and medicalization aren't real problems.

In slightly more than nine hours one of my wisdom teeth is going to be removed HELP.

Why am I doing this; it's not even really necessary. If only they'd grown just a little bit more...

So apparently I lost weight? Not much - about two kilo but still. I wasn't actually planning on losing any, I'm perfectly happy with my weight. Like, maybe if some of the fat in my ass and thighs would be so kind as to migrate over to my boobs I would like that very much, even though I might lose being able to sleep on my stomach. Dilemma, dilemma.

Also found out that our traditional Christmas meal is actually REALLY traditional: apparently my mother's grandmother already made the same stuff. So I guess in the future my youngest sister will host all the Christmas dinners, or at least cook all the food since she and my father are the only ones other than my grandmother who know the recipe.

It was all pretty okay, actually! I managed to be downstairs with the rest of the family for most of one day without needing to flee the room and hole up in a corner somewhere, so. Progress, I guess. And my nephew is looking more and more like a preppy hockey player each time I see him (i.e. the Dutch stereotype of a field hockey player: popped collar, too-fancy dress shoes, too long slicked back hair).

Also there was stuff that made me scream. Stuff that I actually had to think about and write down so I could process my reaction to it and make sense of my feelings.

So I wrote this:


On Christmas Eve, after gettin teary-eyed at the All You Need Is Love Christmas special my brother turned to me and asked me why I got so emotional at watching the program and didn't make it want me a relationship of my own?

I shook my head, wondering why I always had to just keep coming out. I'd thought it a done deal. No one had ever mentioned to me that it was a process. That you have to keep doing it, that you have to keep validating your life to these people who profess just wanting the best for you and yet keep missing 'the best' by a mile.

'Oh,' my mother said brightly. 'She just hasn't found the right man yet.'

I wanted to muster up all the rage I knew I was supposed to feel at that. Wanted to scream at her that if I'd come out as lesbian she'd never have said something like that. Instead, all I felt was tired.

It's been a long time since someone last made racist remarks to me.

I suppose it was even worse this time since he didn't even have the decency to say it to my face; instead, one of my coworkers overheard him talking to his wife.

Not-so-dear-customer? Next time shop personnel point out the closing times to you try to accept defeat gracefully, and without the racist remarks and death wishes.

Also? Fuck you.

If there's one good thing to come out of the newest episode lalala I can't hear the wank I lead a Blaine Anderson Appreciation Life it's the idea of the Dalton Fight Club.

Just. Think about it.

Dalton Fight Club.


Like, I already had this idea that they had giant sleepovers in the dorm rooms and pillow fights and watched Mean Girls and sports channels and Bring It On and trade off on horror movies and romantic comedies. And now they also have their very own Fight Club.



Like I needed more reasons to like the Warblers better than ND.

Fandom: Glee
Characters: Kurt, Blaine, mention of others
Spoilers for 3x06 Mash-Off
word count: ~680

Not very polished but I needed to get my feelings out somehow. First Glee fic! Uh.

BASICALLY I am on neither Team Santana nor on Team Finn. They both behaved disgustingly during this episode.

( There's a sale at the GAP. Maybe they'll even have a cute manager for you to serenade. )

What I really, really want from Glee (other than no Karofsky anymore, EVER AGAIN):

- stuff about Kurt and Blaine's gender identity and how Blaine is far more subtly but also far more deeply feminine than Kurt
- all the daddy issues everywhere
- for Quinn to get professional help, or to at least acknowledge that she is Not Well
- all the feelings about Blaine's dependency issues

Especially the last thing, because the more I think about it, the more his 'I want [Kurt] to be comfortable so that I can be comfortable' creeps me out. Because apparently he has absolutely no sense of self until alcohol dissolves all his boundaries.