clonechild (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
clonechild) wrote2010-10-06 09:47 pm
clonechild) wrote2010-10-06 09:47 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: Promises, thus far unkept (Betrayal Knows My Name)
Fandom: Betrayal Knows My Name
Characters: Shusei, with lots of mentions of Hotsuma and some of Yoshino
Hinted at Shusei/Hotsuma.
Vague spoilers for volume 4.
word count: ~700
- - -
Hotsuma is talking to that girl again.
Shusei can’t remember her name – no, actually, that’s a lie. He knows her name. He just doesn’t want to think about it, as if giving a name to the problem will make it more real. More real than it already is, and it’s plenty real by now.
He doesn’t make a habit out of remembering things about Hotsuma’s friends. He isn’t the type for that, although he tried to, at first. Tried committing their names and faces and hobbies to mind together with everything else Hotsuma told him about them. Tried remembering, since they were Hotsuma’s friends and if Hotsuma liked them, shouldn’t Shusei do so as well?
Shusei has a hard time recalling things that don’t interest him, and the list of things he does like is really rather small. He doesn’t, for example, really care about the girl Hotsuma is talking to. She looks rather cute, he supposes; her hair is dark and shiny and her face is free of the thick coat of make-up so favoured by so many else her age. Mostly, however, she’s a liability.
She knows about them, about the Giou family and their work. And she’d refused Takashirou’s offer of a memory-wipe, instead opting to remember her kidnapping by demons and all the horrors that entails. Something about it having made her stronger. He can relate to that although he himself isn’t quite sure if he’s happy with it.
Another lie. He is happy, for her. For himself, he’s not.
And Hotsuma is still talking to her. Shusei tries convincing himself that he is satisfied with that, that he’s happy with Hotsuma making more friends. And that girl – no, her name is Yoshino, no reason to act as if ignoring it will make it go away and he doesn’t know if giving her her name makes it hurt more or less – Yoshino likes Hotsuma. A lot.
Hotsuma would yell at him for thinking like this. He has never liked it when Shusei tried setting him up with a girl. Something about it being embarrassing and he can make his own damn decisions, thank you very much. And other things, things that Shusei tries not to think of and inevitably does anyway.
Sometimes, when he’s awake at night and listening to his partner’s even, easy breathing next to him, he questions his own courage. Wonders how his life would change if he would just dare to reach over. There are days he’s feeling particularly honest and admits to himself that Hotsuma wouldn’t mind. He’s sure of that, at least. Hotsuma can be dense about his feelings sometimes but when it comes to Shusei he is honest, though not always straight-forward. But in his own roundabout way he’s let Shusei know that he definitely wouldn’t mind if things between them developed further and Shusei is still having trouble processing that.
Also not true. He knows how Hotsuma feels about him, and were he anyone other than Shusei, he would have welcomed Hotsuma's affection with open arms. But he's Shusei, Shusei who is the Eyes of God and no matter how much he wants (and oh he wants so much, so much), he doesn't quite dare make that last move.
Maybe things were better in one of their previous lives, he thinks. Maybe there Hotsuma wouldn't be so averse to anyone who is not his partner. Maybe there Hotsuma is unhurt and unbroken and with his eyes shining like they did when they were younger. Maybe there Shusei is not such a coward.
Things might've been better. Or they might've been worse. After all, Touko and Tsukumo are siblings now, and Tsukumo still hasn't quite made his peace with that and Touko, no matter how much she might protest, will always choose her brother over anyone else she could possibly get.
Shusei thinks he's glad that at least Hotsuma isn't his brother.
When he looks up again, Hotsuma is walking towards him, giving him a confused and slightly worried look, most likely for the obvious distraction on his partner's face. Shusei smiles at him, feels the warmth curl in his chest at the uplifted lips he gets in return and quietly promises himself that, one day.
One day I will tell him.
Just... not today.
- - -
Every time I read this series I want them to start making out already.Like I care about Yuki and Luca and their magical master/servant relationship. But every time Hotsuma is all like, 'but I like you, Shusei! You're important to me!' Shusei changes the subject like a ninja. Though to be fair every time Shusei is all like, 'oh, I was just thinking of you! you're the only person I think about who else could it be?' Hotsuma goes tsuntsun what are you making fun of me?!
So.
Also, I've been sort of reading Katekyo Hitman Reborn on and off for the past two weeks or so. I can't in good conscience really recommend it (pretty much all the girls are sidelined and getting their thunder stolen and all that jazz) but the loyalty pings. Oh my god the loyalty pings. The potential for D/s (also as a pairing shorthand and I'm so disappointed nobody's done anything with that, fandom!), master/subordinate, blood-, knife- and gunplay and service-oriented submission oh my god.Also Dino's and Hibari's weapons, ahaha.
God. I want to write porn for this series so badly. Fuck my failure.
Also, my favourites are definitely Gokudera, Squalo and Belphegor. I love them, love them. The buttons they press. unf.
Characters: Shusei, with lots of mentions of Hotsuma and some of Yoshino
Hinted at Shusei/Hotsuma.
Vague spoilers for volume 4.
word count: ~700
- - -
Hotsuma is talking to that girl again.
Shusei can’t remember her name – no, actually, that’s a lie. He knows her name. He just doesn’t want to think about it, as if giving a name to the problem will make it more real. More real than it already is, and it’s plenty real by now.
He doesn’t make a habit out of remembering things about Hotsuma’s friends. He isn’t the type for that, although he tried to, at first. Tried committing their names and faces and hobbies to mind together with everything else Hotsuma told him about them. Tried remembering, since they were Hotsuma’s friends and if Hotsuma liked them, shouldn’t Shusei do so as well?
Shusei has a hard time recalling things that don’t interest him, and the list of things he does like is really rather small. He doesn’t, for example, really care about the girl Hotsuma is talking to. She looks rather cute, he supposes; her hair is dark and shiny and her face is free of the thick coat of make-up so favoured by so many else her age. Mostly, however, she’s a liability.
She knows about them, about the Giou family and their work. And she’d refused Takashirou’s offer of a memory-wipe, instead opting to remember her kidnapping by demons and all the horrors that entails. Something about it having made her stronger. He can relate to that although he himself isn’t quite sure if he’s happy with it.
Another lie. He is happy, for her. For himself, he’s not.
And Hotsuma is still talking to her. Shusei tries convincing himself that he is satisfied with that, that he’s happy with Hotsuma making more friends. And that girl – no, her name is Yoshino, no reason to act as if ignoring it will make it go away and he doesn’t know if giving her her name makes it hurt more or less – Yoshino likes Hotsuma. A lot.
Hotsuma would yell at him for thinking like this. He has never liked it when Shusei tried setting him up with a girl. Something about it being embarrassing and he can make his own damn decisions, thank you very much. And other things, things that Shusei tries not to think of and inevitably does anyway.
Sometimes, when he’s awake at night and listening to his partner’s even, easy breathing next to him, he questions his own courage. Wonders how his life would change if he would just dare to reach over. There are days he’s feeling particularly honest and admits to himself that Hotsuma wouldn’t mind. He’s sure of that, at least. Hotsuma can be dense about his feelings sometimes but when it comes to Shusei he is honest, though not always straight-forward. But in his own roundabout way he’s let Shusei know that he definitely wouldn’t mind if things between them developed further and Shusei is still having trouble processing that.
Also not true. He knows how Hotsuma feels about him, and were he anyone other than Shusei, he would have welcomed Hotsuma's affection with open arms. But he's Shusei, Shusei who is the Eyes of God and no matter how much he wants (and oh he wants so much, so much), he doesn't quite dare make that last move.
Maybe things were better in one of their previous lives, he thinks. Maybe there Hotsuma wouldn't be so averse to anyone who is not his partner. Maybe there Hotsuma is unhurt and unbroken and with his eyes shining like they did when they were younger. Maybe there Shusei is not such a coward.
Things might've been better. Or they might've been worse. After all, Touko and Tsukumo are siblings now, and Tsukumo still hasn't quite made his peace with that and Touko, no matter how much she might protest, will always choose her brother over anyone else she could possibly get.
Shusei thinks he's glad that at least Hotsuma isn't his brother.
When he looks up again, Hotsuma is walking towards him, giving him a confused and slightly worried look, most likely for the obvious distraction on his partner's face. Shusei smiles at him, feels the warmth curl in his chest at the uplifted lips he gets in return and quietly promises himself that, one day.
One day I will tell him.
Just... not today.
- - -
Every time I read this series I want them to start making out already.
So.
Also, I've been sort of reading Katekyo Hitman Reborn on and off for the past two weeks or so. I can't in good conscience really recommend it (pretty much all the girls are sidelined and getting their thunder stolen and all that jazz) but the loyalty pings. Oh my god the loyalty pings. The potential for D/s (also as a pairing shorthand and I'm so disappointed nobody's done anything with that, fandom!), master/subordinate, blood-, knife- and gunplay and service-oriented submission oh my god.
God. I want to write porn for this series so badly. Fuck my failure.
Also, my favourites are definitely Gokudera, Squalo and Belphegor. I love them, love them. The buttons they press. unf.