clonechild: madelief (::innocence and dreams::)
Just watched 8, and - I don't know what my words are doing. I don't think I have words for it.

It's... difficult to watch, but important. I'm not American and I'm not gay; I live in Europe, in a very liberal country where even most of the right-wing parties wouldn't dream of revoking marriage equality for fear of the backlash, but.

If my life had just been a little bit different, it could've been me. It still could be me, maybe.

(some days I hope so. I want to know what it is like to love.)

And yet it's difficult, because my sexuality won't ever (need to?) be acknowledged like that. It's just - not there. Not relevant, nonexistant, in this marriage debate. And it makes it hard for me to watch, but I want to anyway. It's necessary to know, how toxic other people can be, even if I can't grasp that myself.

For those who haven't watched the livestream, here is a link on YT:
clonechild: twewy (Default)
The only thing about Glee 3x14 that I actually want to talk about (other than Cough Syrup being a gorgeous cover, well done DC) is this:

Do American people actually eat peanut butter right out of the jar? Really?

god that's disgusting

Like, I actually thought that peanut butter and jam sandwiches weren't actually real things because why. why would you put that anywhere near your mouth. except then i remembered that i sometimes eat chips on my bread, or krupuk, and that when i was younger i used to put lemonade syrup or fruit sprinkles in my buttermilk and double-salted liquorice makes most non-dutch people barf, so.
clonechild: apocalypse not now (::especially if you work in a cinema::)
I am this close to finishing FFXIII-2, I just want some more fragments before trying to tackle that proto-Behemoth again. Wound damage, why are you my best friend in that fight and still betraying me so.

Nnnnot that it really matters for I already know what's going to happen anyway, and I already have this document filled with scribbles and notes for what I want to put in that fic I am planning to write about what happens after the The Future Is Hope paradox ending. It is filled with silly lines like 'how do you solve a problem like caius' and 'hope: still the pushiest bottom to ever rule an entire continent' and I still don't know what I actually want it to be about.

Because mostly, this isn't really the fic I want to write. It's the one I want to read and then reread and luxuriate in over and over. But since I guess nobody is going to write it exactly catered to my needs I'm going to have to write it myself.
clonechild: ffxiii (:: punching people through the internet:)
All the new Glee spoilers are making me want to vomit :(


Also what the fuck are they planning with Sebastian I don't like this one bit.
clonechild: twewy (Default)
Braving Glee 3x13 and just skipping through all the uncomfortable stuff (and all the songs) and oh god, the God Squad discussion is the greatest.

"Guys, we have to figure out what the God Squad viewpoint is on singing to gay people."
"Well, three of us are in glee club so we sing to gay people all the time."

"One in ten people is gay. Do you know what that means? One of the apostles could've been gay. My guess is Simon, that name is the gayest."


"I said, 'Leroy, this guy's sold us the wrong lube. That's why the rubber is sqeaking, that's why it feels weird when we start going really fast...'
"Excuse me, Hiram, but what are we talking about?"
"We're talking cars."

clonechild: ffxiii (:: punching people through the internet:)
Trying to decide if I actually want to watch the new Glee. Because, on the one hand, there's adorable Klaine, Brittana gets their kiss and there are lube jokes and a giant FUCK YOU to the network.

And on the other hand is Karofsky and I really, really cannot deal with him. Basically my icon right now is exactly how I react every time he's on screen.
clonechild: twewy (Default)
So I see that Final Fantasy XIII-2 continues with the 'hope' puns. excuse me while I cry in my handkerchief for not getting him in my party.

I like this game. It's definitely darker, both in story and in design, than XIII, but Serah and Noel have this awesome platonic partnership that you don't see very much.

...the crystarium redesign is terrible, though.
clonechild: ffxiii (:: punching people through the internet:)


The asexual awareness right now lies somewhere around society's knowledge of homosexuality circa '50-'60. No one talks about it. No one shows it. When mentioned, people react with disgust. When shown on television, it's always either a medical problem causing it or a lie (throwing judgmental looks in your direction, HOUSE) or it's sociopaths or giant nerds (why thank you for your enlightened portrayals, Sherlock and Big Bang Theory. Now go sit in the naughty corner for reinforcing stereotypes).

People tell us it doesn't exist. People tell us it's just a phase. People tell us we just need to try sex, then we'll get over these silly ideas. People tell us that we must be too ugly to get laid. People tell us to get raped, or to kill ourselves, or that we're mentally ill, or that we're not human. We're probably still in the DSM.

Don't you dare tell me that invisibility and medicalization aren't real problems.
clonechild: twewy (Default)
There are a lot of creepy things in Glee, but that leaked performance of Smooth Criminal goes to new heights:
Santana looks terrified and it just reinforced for me exactly why Blaine only rebuffs Sebastian by saying things like 'I have a boyfriend' and 'I never want to mess my thing with him up' and goes out of his way to avoid him but still never dares to say 'no'.

Because once he says no, he's no longer safe.

also i could get into the double standards with which fandom treats both blaine and kurt but that's just going to make me rage again. but seriously, blaine said no, in a nice way, but it's still a no. sebastian not respecting that doesn't mean blaine's the one who's in the wrong.


Jan. 24th, 2012 11:25 pm
clonechild: mouse (::is it can be hugs tiem nao?::)
In slightly more than nine hours one of my wisdom teeth is going to be removed HELP.

Why am I doing this; it's not even really necessary. If only they'd grown just a little bit more...
clonechild: kingdom hearts (::my disney logic)
I have never been so glad to have neither a Paypal account nor the inclination to buy clothes over the internet because I've been digging through the Fashion of Glee tumblr and I just want all of Blaine's clothes.

Blaine, why are your clothes so expensive.

Although this does remind me that I need to buy patterned socks because rolling up the cuffs of my jeans looks boring without them, and the weather's not yet warm enough to go with ankle socks. That said, I have always been able to rock blazers.
clonechild: mouse (::is it can be hugs tiem nao?::)
So apparently I lost weight? Not much - about two kilo but still. I wasn't actually planning on losing any, I'm perfectly happy with my weight. Like, maybe if some of the fat in my ass and thighs would be so kind as to migrate over to my boobs I would like that very much, even though I might lose being able to sleep on my stomach. Dilemma, dilemma.

Also found out that our traditional Christmas meal is actually REALLY traditional: apparently my mother's grandmother already made the same stuff. So I guess in the future my youngest sister will host all the Christmas dinners, or at least cook all the food since she and my father are the only ones other than my grandmother who know the recipe.

It was all pretty okay, actually! I managed to be downstairs with the rest of the family for most of one day without needing to flee the room and hole up in a corner somewhere, so. Progress, I guess. And my nephew is looking more and more like a preppy hockey player each time I see him (i.e. the Dutch stereotype of a field hockey player: popped collar, too-fancy dress shoes, too long slicked back hair).

Also there was stuff that made me scream. Stuff that I actually had to think about and write down so I could process my reaction to it and make sense of my feelings.

So I wrote this:

On Christmas Eve, after gettin teary-eyed at the All You Need Is Love Christmas special my brother turned to me and asked me why I got so emotional at watching the program and didn't make it want me a relationship of my own?

I shook my head, wondering why I always had to just keep coming out. I'd thought it a done deal. No one had ever mentioned to me that it was a process. That you have to keep doing it, that you have to keep validating your life to these people who profess just wanting the best for you and yet keep missing 'the best' by a mile.

'Oh,' my mother said brightly. 'She just hasn't found the right man yet.'

I wanted to muster up all the rage I knew I was supposed to feel at that. Wanted to scream at her that if I'd come out as lesbian she'd never have said something like that. Instead, all I felt was tired.
clonechild: twewy (Default)
signs i should probably step away from my keyboard or fire up The Last Remnant again: I want to scream 'YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT AND ALSO YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON' at someone on the internet.

why is this my life.

Actually unrelated griping: tumblr people, I do not think you realize quite how expensive goddamn Elizabeth Taylor jewelry is. Take the most expensive piece of jewelry you know. And then, y'know, add a zero.

Or four.


Dec. 16th, 2011 07:10 pm
clonechild: ffxiii (:: punching people through the internet:)
It's been a long time since someone last made racist remarks to me.

I suppose it was even worse this time since he didn't even have the decency to say it to my face; instead, one of my coworkers overheard him talking to his wife.

Not-so-dear-customer? Next time shop personnel point out the closing times to you try to accept defeat gracefully, and without the racist remarks and death wishes.

Also? Fuck you.
clonechild: twewy (Default)
Rewatching the Glee Rumour Has It/Someone Like You mash-up finally told me what I don't really like about that performance for all that I do love watching it: the same problem I had with Landslide.

I just get too distracted by Naya's ridiculously obvious fake lashes and it throws me out.

Edit: aaand someone on the k_b comm mentioned wanting to see them do Spice Girls songs. BRB reliving my childhood on youtube.

Glee 3x08

Dec. 7th, 2011 10:16 pm
clonechild: magna carta (::fuck yes i'm awesome::)
If there's one good thing to come out of the newest episode lalala I can't hear the wank I lead a Blaine Anderson Appreciation Life it's the idea of the Dalton Fight Club.

Just. Think about it.

Dalton Fight Club.

Like, I already had this idea that they had giant sleepovers in the dorm rooms and pillow fights and watched Mean Girls and sports channels and Bring It On and trade off on horror movies and romantic comedies. And now they also have their very own Fight Club.

Like I needed more reasons to like the Warblers better than ND.
clonechild: twewy (Default)
Seeing food pictures reblogged on tumblr and all the reactions being variations on 'OMG that looks so delicious~' while all I can think is 'oh ugh that looks so gross why would you put that in your mouth.'
clonechild: twewy (Default)
Fandom: Glee
Characters: Kurt, Blaine, mention of others
Spoilers for 3x06 Mash-Off
word count: ~680

Not very polished but I needed to get my feelings out somehow. First Glee fic! Uh.

BASICALLY I am on neither Team Santana nor on Team Finn. They both behaved disgustingly during this episode.

There's a sale at the GAP. Maybe they'll even have a cute manager for you to serenade. )
clonechild: twewy (Default)
Ugh, so underwhelmed by Glee 3x06.

In large part because nobody cared about anything beyond 3x05, but also because spoilers behind cut )
clonechild: dissidia (::one of these things is not like the ot)
What I really, really want from Glee (other than no Karofsky anymore, EVER AGAIN):

- stuff about Kurt and Blaine's gender identity and how Blaine is far more subtly but also far more deeply feminine than Kurt
- all the daddy issues everywhere
- for Quinn to get professional help, or to at least acknowledge that she is Not Well
- all the feelings about Blaine's dependency issues

Especially the last thing, because the more I think about it, the more his 'I want [Kurt] to be comfortable so that I can be comfortable' creeps me out. Because apparently he has absolutely no sense of self until alcohol dissolves all his boundaries.


clonechild: twewy (Default)

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